5 Ways to Get Your Ex Back

I woke up a few weeks ago to an US Weekly shocker: Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston had not only reunited, but took to the tabloid magazine to announce their engagement. This was about as much a "WTF?!" moment as Sandra Bullock coming out of hiding to announce she adopted a little boy from New Orleans while divorcing her husband.

I guess we shouldn't be surprised (and after living in Los Angeles for so long, I'm not quite sure why I let anything shock me), but still ... no matter if you couldn't stand the Palin family, you have to admit that Levi's actions were beyond douche-baggy. So for Bristol to forgive him and welcome him back into the family (although we'll see how long this lasts) you have to wonder if she's a poster child for forgiveness or just sick in the head. Yes, there is a child involved, and I'm all for putting the kids first, but unless Levi has changed (and Bristol too), then there is NO way this is going to work out. (Profound, I know). But for their sake (and Tripp's), I hope it does.

Which brings me to the issue at hand: what happens when your ex comes back? Do you let them in? Forgive and forget? Start anew? I recently was faced with that very same question when my ex came back into my life after a two-year hiatus. It wasn't as dramatic as Bristol and Levi, but it sure threw me for a loop (and that's putting it mildly). And as a relationship columnist, it made me really search for the answers as to why these guys come back -- because they really do all resurface, don't they? And what you can do to make sure this time around is different, for the better.

I never knew a decision could be so easy and yet so painful at the same time. Telling my boyfriend of a year that I didn't want to him to contact me ever again (unless he grew up) brought on feelings of relief and deep mourning. I was sick of his games and lack of respect, but this was also the same guy that I felt deep down was my future husband. Having to face the facts that this was not the right guy for me (at the moment) was awful -- especially since I knew he had the potential.

And yet, even though I knew one day our paths would cross again, it didn't make saying goodbye any easier. In fact, because I felt so strongly about him, it became almost impossible to move on. I dated, even entered in to other relationships, but I somehow knew this was the cream filling of the Oreo until he came back to bookend the other half. (Although isn't the middle the best part? Nevermind. We'll just got with it.)

Almost two years to the day that I sent that fateful email, he did come back (well, in the form of an email at least). When I saw a Happy Birthday email in my inbox (because as my other guy friends said -- "it's a safe 'holiday' for a guy to reach out"), I felt both elated and scared. Elated that maybe he had finally grown up and this was the beginning of a better relationship, and yet scared to death that he hadn't changed at all. Telling him to take a hike the first time was difficult enough. I didn't know if I could do it again.

What's more ironic, is that in the two months since he first reached out, two other exes have also come out of the woodwork. Was there some sort of secret contest I had no idea about? "Reunite with an Ex and Win a Trip to the Playboy Mansion!" "Apologize to an Old Girlfriend and Take Your New Girlfriend on a Trip to Hawaii!" I mean, how else do you explain all these guys coming back into my life at pretty much the same time?

As for the ex that I saw myself with for the rest of my life, it is still too early to tell what will happen. And I've grown enough to know that. No matter how I feel (or felt) about him, he still has a lot to do to earn my trust and respect. He apologized for past behavior and recognized how hurtful his actions were. And as it turns out, we are both planning a move to the same city by the fall. We're talking. Nothing more, nothing less. Time will tell if the timing is really right this time.

In the meantime, if you're just about to break up with someone, or have just cut off ties, here's my list of what to do and how to act if you want them to come back (only because they have potential). If they were verbally or physically abusive, then they used their only chance up long ago. But if it's just a matter of timing and maturing as a person, then if I'm any indication, they'll be lining up at your door in no time.

1) Go Out Classy When I said adios to my ex, there was absolutely NO derogatory language. Sure, I was upset and angry (and I made damn well that he knew that), but I also kept it PG-13 rated. Why? Well, for one, the minute you start throwing F-bombs all over the place (no matter if it's in your regular vocabulary), it diminishes the effect of what you're really trying to get across. Trust me, he'll think better of you if you keep it clean.

2) De-friend Him on Facebook and Twitter Yes, it might seem harsh (especially if your ex doesn't make a big deal out of social networking sites), but it's even worse having to see whom he's friends with now, or what his plans were last Saturday night. As for me, I not only de-friended my so-called ex, but I blocked him as well. We had so many mutual friends that even seeing him comment on their photos and statuses were enough to make me think about him way more than I wanted to (and trust me, I already was -- a lot). Plus, the benefit of him not seeing you on his Facebook feed is that he's going to wonder about you way more than if he had a portal into your everyday life.

3) Don't Ask About Him I did my best to remain friends with my ex's friends, and I don't think it could have happened unless they were so adamant that I stay in their lives. But it mainly worked because I didn't ask about my ex, and I made sure they didn't talk to me about him. It was too painful to hear about what he was up to, and it also ensured that I was friends with those guys because I truly enjoyed their company, and not because they could fill me in on all the dirt.

4) Date and Live Your Life Even though I always knew my ex would come back (and no, I'm not a psychic; nor am I related to one), I wasn't that gifted that I knew when that would be. So I had to go on with my life and do my best to put the past behind me. When you feel you're ready to date again (and trust me, initially you want and NEED to take some time for yourself), then get back out there. Live life. Have fun.

5) Work on Yourself When I was with my ex, I was so happy to be with him that I literally put him on a pedestal. I was so concerned with pleasing him that I forgot to make sure he was pleasing me (which I finally did when I told him to get out and grow up). Now that he is back in my life, I'm no longer putting all of his feelings first. It might take two to tango in a relationship, but it also takes two to make it work.

Eventually, they all (mostly) come back (granted, there are some that are that stupid and may never realize what they missed). It may be an email out of the blue or an unexpected run-in. But the best way to make that happen and make them want you back, is to be the best version of yourself that you can be. Yes, it's kind of after school special of me to say, but it's so true. If you treat yourself with the respect you deserve, stay classy and show that you're worthy of better, it will go a long way in making him take a hard look at what he gave up.

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Top 12 Very Simple Tips to avoid Pimples

To avoid having pimples it is not just necessary to keep your face oil free but your hair shall also not be oily. Leaving overnight oil on your hair can cause pimples as the hair touching your face will make your skin oily. Wash your hair regularly and don’t let them fall on your face. Also go easy on products like hair gels, fragrances and deodorants as they can clog up the skin pores leading to pimples.

10. Keep your hands away from your face

Siting an unpleasant pimple makes us want to pop it immediately to get rid of it. But touching and popping pimples can only accentuate the problem. Don’t let your hands touch your face very often. It can spread bacteria, cause infections or further more pimples which you certainly don’t want.

9. Eat healthy

Mothers always tell us that no amount of cosmetic products can benefit our skin as much as eating a healthy diet comprising of fresh fruits and vegetables can. This is in fact true. Eating oily and greasy food like chocolates or junk food doesn’t do much good to our skin while eating grains, fruits and vegetables helps us in keeping it healthy and pimple free.

8. Apply ice

Ice soothes the skin, particularly the affected area which can help your skin to become pimple-free. Applying ice on the skin will remove the oil and dirt trapped inside and reduces the redness and swelling. To get rid of an eruption, put an ice cube in a cloth and gently press it against the affected skin. Or one can also make it a routine to apply crushed ice or ice cubes to the skin in order to avoid pimples.

7. Apply honey

Honey masks are quite a common acne treatment. Applying honey on the face works both as a preventive method and as a treatment for pimples. It is a natural antiseptic that soothes and heals the skin. The antioxidants present in honey can help in reducing the inflammation over the skin and making it pimple free. Apply some honey on your face for 15-30 minutes and then wash it off. Not only will it work against your acne problem but it also makes the skin smooth and supple.

6. Use lemons

Like honey, lemons are also believed to be a quite effective natural treatment for getting rid of pimples. Lemons can help avoiding pimples in more than one way. Lemon juice reduces the oil, kills bacteria, reduces redness and also removes the pimple scars. To use it over your pimples squeeze some fresh lime juice over a cotton swab or a cotton ball and apply it over your face. It can give quick results.

5. Use baking soda

Another wonder product which you already have in your kitchen and it can help you fight against pimples is baking soda. A mixture of baking soda and lemon juice can be applied on the skin to make it pimple free. Baking soda is an amphoteric compound which means it can work both as an acid and as a base. It helps in neutralizing the skin’s pH, imbalance in which is often a cause behind acne. It also dries the skin removing any extra oil and mixing some baking soda with water works wonderfully in cleansing and exfoliating our skin.

4. Apply toothpaste

While treating pimples you don’t always need to go and buy some specialized cosmetic product but your humble toothpaste can also be of a lot of use. Now while using toothpaste as a pimple treatment always choose a white toothpaste and not the gel or red, blue or green stripes ones. Also don’t use the teeth whitening toothpaste to apply over the skin. Wash your face with warm water and a cleanser and pat dry. Now take a pea size amount of toothpaste and apply it only over the affected area. Keep it for a couple of hours or overnight and then wash it. Your pimples must be either gone or much less visible.

3. Use Aloe Vera

Aloe Vera is a cactus like plant with anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-septic, astringent and a lot more useful medicinal properties. It can be used in a lot of ways- as a moisturizer, a face mask, shaving oil or it can also be included in your diet. Aloe Vera can work wonders for treating and preventing acne as it removes excess oil and dirt from the skin. It stimulates the cell growth, and helps the damaged skin for healing faster.

2. Use dermatological products or treatments

If all else fails then this can be your backup plan. There is a huge variety of anti-acne products- face washes, creams, face packs etc., available in the market these days. Search a little, find a product that will best suit your skin type and give it a try. If still your pimples are unlikely to go away then don’t hesitate from going to a dermatologist.

1. Take a chill pill!

If you didn’t know it already then let me break it to you. Stress causes PIMPLES!! Not that I’m excited about it or something but it actually does. When our body produces the stress hormone, it leads to causing pimples in two ways. 1: The hair follicle lining thickens due to the hormone causing whiteheads and blackheads and if bacteria gets trapped inside of it, a pimple is formed. 2: Our body directs blood and oxygen to more vital areas leaving skin dehydrated and prone to clogged pores and breakouts. Hence in order to avoid pimples one also needs to reduce their stress levels. You may try yoga or meditation to stay stress-free and pimple-free.

5 safe positions for sex during pregnancy

Being pregnantdoesn’t mean that you have to take a break from your sex life. While your baby is inside, you need to give it all the love you can by eating the right foods and avoiding things that may cause complications during childbirth. However, you should not forget taking care of yourself too and having sex can be a great way to release stress and feel happy. But, not all sex positions are safe for the baby and you need to be careful to not put too much weight on your abdomen1. SpooningSpooning is a safe sex position that you can enjoy without any worries. In this sex position, the two partners should lie down sideways like two spoons combined together. The male partner should be behind the female partner and chose an angle of penetration that is comfortable to him. 

2. Woman on topWoman on top is another position that pregnant woman can enjoy. In this position, the male partner should lie down on the bed with the female partner sitting on top of him so as to not put any weight on her abdomen. The female partner is in full control of her movements and she can thrust at a pace she is comfortable with. 

3. Reverse cowgirlThis is another great position you can try if your partner finds that the sight of your pregnant belly is making him anxious. It’s the same as woman on top with the only difference being that the female partner should face away from the man while thrusting.

4.  Lap TopThis again is very much like the reverse cowgirl position. The only difference is that the man should be sitting on a chair instead of lying down on the bed. The male partner must be facing the female partner’s back and the female partner should thrust at a speed she finds comfortable. 

5.  Edge of the bedIn this position, the male partner should kneel outside the bed while the woman is lying down on the edge of the bed with her legs down. The male partner should then penetrate in a kneeling position so that no pressure is put on the abdomen. 

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FIVE REASONS WHY MEN SLEEP AFTER SEX

Why do men sleep after s*x? This is a question most women need answers to. Is it abnormal to fall asleep after s*x or is the man just being selfish when he sleeps after s*x?  Below are 5 reasons why men sleep after s*x 

1. SLEEP-INDUCING CHEMICALS RELEASED DURING S*X: after s*x, a man’s brain becomes flooded with sleep-inducing chemicals such as oxytocin, serotonin and prolactin causing men to sleep after s*x. 

2. BLOOD RUSH: the blood rush that occurs after your man ‘comes’ depletes the muscles of energy-producing glycogen. It is well known that men have higher muscle density than women making them more likely to sleep after s*x.

3. A MAN’S CEREBRAL CORTEX SHUTS DOWN AFTER S*X: according to a research, a man’s cerebral cortex which is the ‘thinking’ area, shuts down almost immediately after s*x while the cingulate cortex and amygdale make the rest of the brain to deactivate from s*xual desire. 

4. LOCATION OF S*X: the location the s*x occurs plays a role too. When you have s*x in the bedroom where you are naturally comfortable, it’s so easy for the man to fall asleep after s*x compared to when you do it in your car or somewhere else under duress, that is not so comfortable. 

5. TIME OF S*X: time of s*x is another reason why men sleep after s*x. When s*x occurs in the night especially when the human body is already tired, the man sleeps after s*x because it occurred at a time when people sleep naturally and s*x by nature is very relaxing. 

Election supervisor dies in car crash after tyre bursts

Election supervisor in Pagwi ward, Kilindi District, Tanga Region, Rajabu Nkungua has died after the vehicle he was using to transport voting materials to the District Council overturned.

Tanga Regional Police Commander, Zuberi Mwombeji confirmed the incident, saying the accident occured yesterday morning in Kilindi District when one of the front tyres busted.

RPC Mwombeji said the ballot boxes were safe and unloaded from the vehicle.

"The accident happened, when the supervisor was taking the ballot boxes to the constituency’s Returning Officer, a front tyre busted,” RPC Mwombeji said, without divulging the number of people who were in the vehicle before the accident.

Meanwhile, Police in the region hold eight people and looking for Gideon Sebarua who was contesting for Kisiwani ward councillorship, in Bumbuli ward in Lushoto District. He is accused of destroying ballot boxes.

RPC Mwombeji said the ballot boxes were being taken to the constituency Returning Officer.

Mbombeji said that the incident occurred yesterday at around 1am at Kisiwani ward, in Bumbuli constituency.

“We’re still looking for the ward councilor contender for the law to take its course,” he said.

He however said that the police force in the region was well-equipped to control trouble makers in the region.

 

SOURCE: THE GUARDIAN